Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Day 19 - Parked Cars

Parked Cars - Graphite Pencil on Canson paper (11 x 14)
Day 19

A pair of parked cars from another era. This is a straightforward graphite drawing done from a photo.  Todays entry took about an hour. Not too much time to spend drawing today as I was out to do some last minute holiday shopping.

Yes, the Malls are packed and the people can be hurried and rude, but I still like mingling with my fellow citizens during the season. As a student of human nature, I find it fascinating to watch people interact. For instance there was a couple in their mid-fifties arguing about shopping and the women, who was clearly frustrated, turned to the man and said, "I just hate shopping with you," to which he immediately replied, "Then why did you drag me out here?".

I predict that man will spend some time in marital purgatory for his offensive query. First rule of shopping, never go as a couple if you can help it. Second rule of shopping, if you go as a couple, avoid each other at all costs. My wife and I have an unwritten agreement which almost always takes us our separate ways in a store. In the event we meet up accidentally, I try very hard not to ask her any questions which might even remotely provoke a conversation aka argument about what to buy.

For many men shopping is a task which should be planned, executed and concluded quickly. Unless there are big screen televisions involved, men rarely like to linger in a store. This invariably conflicts with the female of our species who view shopping as yet another in a series of important life experiences. Men who've managed to overcome their instincts to flee the housewares section at Target are lying to themselves.

Any man in a relationship long enough will inevitably have to face the day when he's confronted with a shopping trip with his significant other. If he's lucky she'll ask him to help her buy a car or pick out a computer. If he's unlucky he'll be asked to pick out paint colors or sheets. For any man who reads this, you cannot win and this is a trap. The best you can hope for is a tie.

In order to live through this inevitably frightening experience you need to prepare yourself by practicing your, "agreement lines". Say things like, "I agree with you, that looks great" or "Yes, perfect". But your best bet is to avoid the situation altogether by hiding in another part of the store.

This isn't a talent men are born with. It has to be taught to them either by some generous female or through hard won experience. For some men it takes longer and costs several relationships. It is however a proven method. One more thing though, it is almost certain that sooner or later she'll figure out what you're up to and confront you with a question like, "Why do you always disappear when we go shopping together?", to which your immediate reply should be, "You know I really love shopping with you because we're able to give each other our space."

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